For this Season

2011-08-18T13:48:00.007-05:00

I am the absolute worst blogger in the world!! This is my first post since JANUARY??!! My daughters have urged

me to continue. I am reminded that the real reason I began this blog was to chronicle our lives and to share it with family and friends that are far away. So it is with complete embarrassment that I say, here we go......again!!

I think it is best to recap our summer. And a wonderful summer it was!! We were able to complete all of our adoption paperwork by the end of April so that allowed more time for swimming, vacation, a trip to El Salvador for Syd and I, t-ball, basketball, and so much more.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-22T20:05:00.006-06:00

Better late than never truly applies with this post.

We had a wonderful Christmas holiday this year. I believe it is due to the fact that we are homeschooling everyone this year. We could be selective about the festivities/activities that we took part in and could truly choose what we wanted to spend our time doing. It was nice. As you can see in the pictures we painted ornaments with cousins, Nat and Reese, and decorated a gingerbread house (first one we have ever done that didn't fall over).

The week before Christmas Jody and I celebrated with friends at Pattis, a tradition I have grown to look forward to every year.

Surprise

2010-12-09T12:01:00.004-06:00

Hudson is so thoughtful. Look what he left on the kitchen counter for me to find!! He found it out in a field yesterday. Got to love 9 year old boys......

2010-10-14T21:20:00.007-05:00

I have been thinking for days that I wanted to write about my recent trip to El Salvador. But every time I set down to type, I can't find the words. My heart and my mind are so full. I am still working to process all that I saw and experienced. Following is a copy of something I wrote on the third night of our trip:

"I am at a loss for words as I sit to type about our experience here in El Salvador. Words seem cheap. My emotions are raw and I have cried a million tears. In the past three days I have: rocked a new born baby abandoned at birth, watched homeless men, women, and children crawl out from under a bridge for food, kissed the face of the handicapped adults that the world has forgotten, and prayed with the beautiful El Salvadorians that call a Squatter Camp home. As I lay in my bed and wept last night the only prayer I could muster was for His quick return. I pray that the Lord will come and end the suffering and pain. Until He does, I pray that He will continue breaking my heart and yours. I pray that we will not rest in our comfort, in our conveniences, and in our "security." Starfish IS making a difference here. God is using His people to reach those who are in the worst of circumstances and in desperate need. I am blessed to be a part of this fabulous group of people! All glory, honor and praise to our King"

A Birthday to Remember

2010-09-24T22:11:00.011-05:00

Disclaimer: I have NO idea why the pictures are like this?!?

Anyway....

Hudson's 9th birthday this year is one that we will certainly not forget. The weekend prior to his big day we celebrated at our house with 10 of his buddies, grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. This was his first big "sleep over" and we did it right!! They played football, basketball, spotlight tag, and wrestled. They ate pizza, cake, popcorn, and lots of soda! They went to bed way to late (sorry parents) and got up the next morning ready to do it all again. I think the party was a success!!

On the night of his actual birthday we decided to go for ice cream after church. He was in a mean game of chase with his siblings and cousins when he decided to leap off the play set. I knew by his scream that something was really, really wrong. As soon as he rolled over we saw that his right forearm was disfigured, disgustingly disfigured. We knew immediately we were headed for the E.R. and after a few X-rays we were told he had snapped both bones in his right forearm, in half!! At 6:00 a.m. the next morning (couldn't do it that night because he had a full belly of Snickers Blizzard) they put him to sleep and set his arm. He is now in a cast for 6 weeks.

He is enjoying "slacking" on his school work and jobs around the house. He is loving having his big sisters take care of some of this for him!?

As we set at the hospital that night I remember being overcome with gratitude that we were there for an arm that would heal. The E.R. is a sad place to be. I set with my son behind a curtain and listened to the sounds of people that were in some desperate, lost, very sad and difficult situations. Young, single moms with sick children. You could see the hopelessness on their faces. There were senior citizens that were very ill and alone. There was one man beside us that was biting, hitting, yelling and spitting and was being sent to a Mental Facility. Late that night an ambulance came in with a drunk driver injured in an accident that was his fault. I remember praying for these people as I would hear their voices and see their faces. I hugged and kissed Hudson's head and held him tight. That is certainly not how we wanted to spend the night of his 9th birthday, but the invaluable gift was the reminder of all that our family has been given.....and to remember "that to whom much is given, much is expected."

(Hats off to Aunt Renee and Uncle Brandon who were with us at Dairy Queen to take care of our other children and get them home when we raced off to the E.R......they are an "invaluable gift" as well!!)

Step by Step

2010-09-24T21:32:00.005-05:00

The first picture was in our referral information packet we received in January of this year. He looked sick, sad, lost, hopeless, and miserable. It broke my heart every time I looked at it. I remember not wanting our friends and family to see this picture because I didn't want them to worry or question what we were doing. I was carrying enough doubt and anxiousness on my own. I remember asking myself, "Can we do this? How can he heal? Will he let us love him?"

We have come so far in just 5 months. I don't ever want to portray that this has been easy. It is not. There have been huge adjustments for all of us. Some days are great, some not so much!?! Some days we take 2 steps forward and then 3 steps back. But we are not alone. All glory, honor, and praise to our Healer, Counselor, and Mighty King.

End of Summer

2010-08-18T15:07:00.004-05:00

Well, summer is officially over here at the Stivers' house. Gone are the days of late night movies, swimming, sleeping in, late afternoon trips to Dairy Queen, sunscreen, and trips to the water park. "His Call" Academy has now officially began it's 2nd year of school! We are reading, writing, and "arithmaticing". We are doing everything from learning our colors to Pre-Algebra.....please pray for the students (and the teacher).

We ended summer this past weekend at the St. Louis zoo with some very special friends (it was Luke's 8th birthday). We swam at the hotel pool, jumped on the beds (why do kids always like to jump on beds in hotels), saw lots of hot, stinky animals (us and them), and ate lots of snow cones and ice cream. It was a great time and a super way to end the summer of 2010!

Happy 4th

2010-07-17T12:32:00.002-05:00

We spent the 4th of July weekend with a wonderful family, the Walters, that we met on our trip to Ethiopia. They were there adopting their son, Micah. We have kept in touch since we have gotten home and were so glad they could make the trip from Lexington for the weekend. The kids had a great time being together, swimming, watching fireworks, and playing in the yard. A.J. was so happy to see Micah, who he called by his Ethiopian name all weekend. They are a beautiful family with 2 adorable boys who are very close in age. We are already planning another get together in October.
Fireworks at my in-laws.
Happy 4th of July from Harper!!

Happy Birthday Syd

2010-07-16T19:10:00.003-05:00

My girl is 11!! I can't believe she is 11!! We had a great time at Venture River with some sweet friends. We spent the day sliding, swimming, and floating!!! This 37 year old mom was worn out keeping up with these girls but we had a wonderful time.

Happy Birthday Syd!!

This says it all......

2010-07-14T14:16:00.001-05:00

"I can not play it safe and please God."-Keith Seabourn

"Buzzin' Cousins"

2010-07-09T16:28:00.002-05:00

These guys have so much fun when they are all together. It has been such a wonderful blessing watching them all grow up....now ages 13 to 3. The past week we enjoyed their bi-annual play, a great trip to Six Flags, and fireworks on the 4th of July.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2010-07-05T13:11:00.008-05:00

(Pictures in reverse order)

Our time in Ethiopia ended on Thursday evening as we prepared to leave the hotel and head to the airport around 7:30 p.m. We spent most of the afternoon packing all of our things and saying good bye to many very special people. There were only 4 families able to leave this day, others were forced to take later flights home due to the continuing volcanic ash situation.

I loved this picture of A.J. and Jody looking out our hotel room window. Each afternoon we had watched young boys playing soccer, cattle and donkeys roaming, and people walking through a huge field across the street. On this particular afternoon it was raining as they gazed out that window for the last time.

The second picture (from the bottom) shows Jody and A.J. taking our huge load of luggage into the airport. A.J. was, and continues to be, a hard worker that loves to carry through on tough jobs. The airport was extremely crowded. The lines to check in were long. There was a brief moment in time that I thought we might miss our flight. I wanted to come home so badly by this point, I think I would have rented a boat and rowed us across that Atlantic Ocean.

A.J. and Sydney did WONDERFUL on the flight home (thanks to a little Benedryl)!! They slept from Addis to Amsterdam and most of the way to Detroit. Unfortunately, no drugs were strong enough for Jody and I!?! Thankfully we had some good snacks and movies to watch to pass the time. I can't even begin to tell you how pumped I was to be on that final leg from Detroit to Nashville. Jody and I were both on the verge of tears when the plane hit the landing. I remember looking right into his eyes and knowing exactly what he was feeling and thinking.....you just know after 15 years......

Next, our airport homecoming!! Praise the Lord, we were all together again!!!

2010-05-17T21:03:00.008-05:00

As our week in Ethiopia was drawing to a close, we were able to visit two very special places. On Wednesday night we had a traditional Ethiopian dinner at Yod Abbysinia. This was a wonderful experience. While we were eating our dinner we watched a beautiful display of the Ethiopian culture, lots of singing and dancing. A.J. danced right along with the performers and that was so fun to see. The food is "shared" with others out of a large, center platter. Lots of different types of meat, rice, spicy stew, and sauces. Everything is eaten with injera, a thin, spongy type of bread....just tear some off and scoop it up with your fingers. A.J. loved it!! (By now I was really craving a cheeseburger and fries!?!)

On Thursday all 23 of us (adults and children) crammed into a 16 passenger van and went to Bethzatha, named from the Pool of Bethesda in the Bible. This is the home A.J. was in before going to Hannah's Hope. It is run by Samuel (see picture), a Ethiopian man that walked away from his lucrative career to serve the Lord and help the orphaned children in his country. He was amazing and it was a joy to hear him speak of his experiences. I could not fight back the tears as we toured Bethzatha. The conditions there were not as good as Hannah's Hope. It broke my heart to see the children with severe special needs. The dedicated staff had no washer and dryer for their laundry (there were 66 children). The food was cooked in a concrete shed. But, you can see the precious faces of the children. Their eyes begged for love and attention, and as you can see Jody was happy to give it!

2010-04-29T21:21:00.006-05:00

I have been very impressed with our adoption agency, All God's Children International. I was even more thankful for their work after spending a week at their transition home in Addis where A.J. has been living for the past several months. Here are a few pictures of some of the Ethiopian women that have been caring for him and the 60 or so other children that live there.

The women are called special mothers. They are certainly "special". The group picture is with Almaz, the Director of Hannah's Hope. She is incredibly efficient and has a beautiful heart for the children of Ethiopia.

There is also a picture of the gate to Hannah's Hope which is a very nice facility that the children and staff moved into after Christmas. In stark contrast is the road leading to Hannah's Hope. So much of the city is in very poor condition.

Icing on the Cake

2010-04-29T21:04:00.002-05:00

On Wednesday we got an "extra special wonderful terrific" visit from my cousin Charis, her husband William, and their newly adopted daughter Hannah Fevin Brown. Words can't describe how comforting it has been to walk this adoption journey with the Browns. I remember Easter of 2009, standing in my aunt's foyer, talking to Charis about the possibility of us both adopting children from Ethiopia. Never in a million years did I think that we would travel on the same plane (adopting through different agencies) one year later to bring our children home. There is no way we could have planned it this way. Isn't God awesome!!

Loving "heavy"

2010-04-28T21:39:00.016-05:00

Our third day in Ethiopia with A.J. was "heavy" for me. I remember pondering all day what it is to love an adopted child. As a family we had been praying for months that God would prepare our hearts (and A.J's) for what was to come. I had explained to the kids before we left that it may take time for them to "feel" like he was their brother. I didn't want them to feel guilty for not having instant love for someone they had just met. We talk often about loving others as yourself and how this would apply with our newest family member.

As I was laying in our hotel room that night I remember praying, "Jesus, I would die for this little boy, but I don't know him." That was strange for me. With our biological children I had 9 months to carry and nurture them. When they were born, I rocked them and nursed them, and gradually learned who they were. In their toddler years I fed them Cheerios, read books to them, and helped them learn their boundaries. With A.J. it was obviously very different. I stepped off the van and this 4 year old boy jumped into my arms......a 4 year old that couldn't speak English. He couldn't tell me about his past or how he felt. He couldn't tell me what his favorite color was or if he was scared in his bed at night.

God continually showed me His faithfulness as we spent the first days of our life together in Ethiopia. Despite the conflicting emotions that were playing in my heart I felt His leading me to be patient, to not be anxious, to wait on Him. I had no doubt that He knew that Afewerk Joseph was going to be my son when He placed the stars in the sky, and that made all the difference!

The distance between "I would die for him" and "I don't know him" is drastically decreasing. Our love for one another is growing. I am watching our whole family learn to love each other in a new, sweet way. A.J. has now been with us for nine days and we have come so far. I am learning more about him every day. He scrunches his nose and growls when we wants to wrestle with me, he says "I love you" and calls me "mommy" 400 times a day, he loves to take a bath, he doesn't like ice in his drinks, he wants Eggo waffles without syrup every morning, he loves to listen to music, he likes to be read to and rocked to sleep, and he detests riding in his car seat.

I have often said that adoption is a roller coaster ride. The last 10 months have been full of highs and lows. I am so grateful to be setting on this side of the process, but I wouldn't trade one minute of this "ride". God is teaching me so much about love, about uncertainties, about His sovereignty. It seemed appropriate to post the picture of A.J. and I with one of my favorite verses painted on the wall of his transition home, Isaiah 40:31.

The moment we had been waiting for.....

2010-04-26T23:18:00.011-05:00

We were so glad to arrive in Ethiopia Sunday evening. We were exhausted, but overjoyed to be so close to A.J. We got to the hotel around 9:00 p.m. and unpacked all of our things. I have to say how proud Jody and I were of Sydney. She was a wonderful traveler and we truly enjoyed spending so much time with her on the plane (lots of quality time on an 18 hour plane ride). We fell into bed around midnight and were up early Monday morning to meet Almaz in the hotel conference room. (Jody filling out paper work above). Normally we would have already had A.J and would have spent the day with him before we headed to the Embassy. However, the volcano had disrupted our entire schedule and we rushed out of the hotel after this meeting and headed to Hannah's Hope to pick up our children. I remember praying on the way there, "Lord, I pray that he feels safe. That he can sense how much we love him." I was so nervous! As we pulled into the gate I heard Jody say "I see him. There he is." Of course, all of the parents were glued to the windows, each waiting for that first glimpse of their child. I hate that we were rushed, but we had to leave shortly to make our American Embassy appointment. I remember stepping out of the van and Afewerk running into my arms. I couldn't even look at his face because he was covering my cheeks with the most precious kisses. I remember feeling great relief. I remember thinking he was smaller than I had envisioned. I vividly recall thinking he was beautiful. I was so grateful and my heart was full. Unfortunately, we literally had to jump back on the van and go. That was the first time Jody got to hold him. He received the same wonderful greeting (pictured above.)

The next several hours were a blur. We stood in line for almost 2 hours waiting for our turn at the embassy. That is never the beginning you want with your newly adopted child. We had packed plenty of snacks and toys and I was so glad we had. We rolled a toy car he instantly loved and ate animal crackers and suckers.

After the appointment we were taken back to the hotel. We walked into our room and Afewerk immediately headed for the dresser full of snacks and toys. We spent the rest of the day playing and eating. The exhaustion set in during the late afternoon. That night we gave him a bath, put on his new PJ's, and ate dinner in the room....traditional Ethiopian lamb tips for him, french fries and Coke for Jody, Sydney, and I. What a sweet night it was as we tucked him in bed and watched him drift off to sleep. I remember drifting off to sleep as I thanked my Savior for saving me and blessing me in such an awesome way.

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Ain't No Volcano Spewing Enough.....To Keep Me From Getting to You Babe."

2010-04-20T18:00:00.010-05:00

It is 1:20 a.m. here in Addis Ababba Ethiopia. I am setting in the dark in our hotel room while everyone sleeps. As has become my habit, I fall asleep around 10:30 p.m. or 11:00 and wake up shortly after, not to fall back asleep until 3:00 a.m. or so. While Jody, Sydney, and Afewerk sleep I get on the laptop and eat Little Debbie snack cakes. I will probably gain 10 pounds by the time we get home. The Internet connection has been very poor and I have not been able to access the blog until now.

There is so much to say about our trip here so far. It has been a whirlwind beginning with our discovery late Thursday afternoon that a volcano in Iceland was causing flights throughout Europe to be canceled. We were scheduled to leave Friday morning for Nashville to fly out KLM through Amsterdam and then on to Ethiopia. We went to sleep on Thursday evening not knowing if we were going. I spent the better part of Thursday packing, pacing, and praying. We spoke to our travel agent who was in route to her aunt's funeral in California. She got back to us around midnight and said our flight status was still unknown, but it didn't look good. She advised us to get up and leave for Nashville as planned and we would figure something out once we got there. I fought back tears through all of this. I felt that if I started crying I would not be able to stop. The culmination of trying to get all of our things packed and ready as well as making sure the children we were leaving behind were cared for and the stress of this volcano (whoever heard of volcanoes in Iceland anyway) was more than I could hold. I couldn't stand the thought of us not getting here for our Embassy Date. If we missed our date we would be postponed until sometime in May.

We woke up early Thursday and persevered not knowing if we were actually leaving or not. At 6:45 we got Carson off for school and at 8:30 Jody was putting the last of our luggage in the car and mom was coming for the other kids. At 8:31 our travel agent calls. Our flight is cancelled, however she has booked us on another flight to leave on Saturday. She assured us we would still make it in time for the embassy appointment. Our new flight would land Sunday night in Ethiopia at 7:oo p.m. So we shut the car door, sent my mom home, and resolved to leave the next day.

The beautiful part of this is that this was also the day my family was scheduled to move my grandaddy from his home into assisted living. My grandaddy agreed to go, but was obviously sad and unsure. We decided to head to Murray and help with the move. It was also his 86th birthday. We spent the whole day with him helping set up his new apartment and celebrating the life of this man we all love so much. By the time we arrived home that evening, we were exhausted but our hearts were full. It was truly a great day!! There was a lot of "good" in not leaving for Ethiopia like we had anticipated. I wouldn't trade that day for anything!

So, we get up on Saturday and leave as planned. You can see that in the picture. We arrive in Nashville and are told by the ticket agent that our new flight will not be going because no planes were allowed to fly through Rome (our flight had a scheduled stop there for fuel). My heart began to pound and I thought my head might explode. We asked United Airlines to allow us to continue our flight to Washington D.C. and we would figure out the rest from there. They refused. We called our travel agent again who was now walking in the door of the funeral for her aunt. She said she would call us back as soon as the funeral was over, obviously her hands were tied at this point. I remember standing there at the United check in and praying. "Please Jesus, I want your will to be done, but I do not understand. Please help us." About that time the check in agent called Ethiopian airlines and was assured that the flight was on as scheduled. Apparently the flight system had not been updated yet. At that very point the computer screen changed and we were allowed to proceed on. He told us later that he had turned away 15 people before us that morning with international flights through Europe. We were the first that had gotten cleared!!!

I will post the next phase of our journey later, but you can see in the other picture that Syd and I were very happy to see that Ethiopian airplane loading up our bags for the next leg of the trip.

Our last few days as a family of 6

2010-04-10T19:28:00.002-05:00

We camped this week and had a wonderful time. The weather was perfect and we all enjoyed the sunshine, bike rides, walks by the lake, feeding the geese, fishing and campfires (even though I forgot the marshmallows). Camping sure is a lot of work on this mom and dad, but always worth the memories we make. Carson wrote a paper recently and described this camping spot (we have been here several times) as one of her favorite places ever.

Get ready A.J. We have your spot in the pop-up ready to go!!!

Ethiopia or bust.....

2010-03-27T21:44:00.002-05:00

We got the call on Friday (while buying groceries at Walmart). Our embassy date is confirmed for April 19th!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

Big Days

2010-03-18T22:32:00.002-05:00

I have posted so much adoption news lately. I don't want to fail to capture some other big days around here. Within just 8 weeks we had our oldest turn 13 (wow) and our youngest turn 3. I often think what a great balance it is having a teenager and toddler at the same time. I am enjoying special times watching Carson grow into a beautiful young lady. Our relationship is evolving and changing. I am learning (not so well sometimes) how to parent a teenager. But, it is hard to take things to seriously when you have a 3 year old jabbering away and doing such sweet "baby" things. Harper is always making me laugh.

I will never forget the moment I had at Walmart in 2007 when I looked at my shopping cart and I had Carson's first bra (she will be so glad I wrote that) and nursing pads as part of my purchases for the day?!? We moms certainly wear many different hats......

The moment

2010-03-17T10:46:00.004-05:00

It seems very interesting to me that we would get the "referral call" and the "he is legally yours" call while at church, but that is the way God orchestrated our moments. I had my phone in my lap in anticipation of a call from AGCI telling us we passed court. At precisely 10:30 a.m. I felt the vibrations of my phone and I RAN out of the room. I could tell in our case manager's voice that the news was good, and it was ooohhhhh so sweet!!! At this moment I officially became the mother of 5!

I also realized yesterday that the pain and anxiousness of being pregnant is similar in a lot of ways to working through an adoption. For me, I think this adoption process has been more difficult. But you know what, just as I forgot all of that when I gave birth to my children, it was the same for me yesterday when I received this phone call. All the months of stress and concern faded away. He is our son and I couldn't be more grateful!!!

(I'm just a little bit sad I couldn't capture Jody when I called him at his office and shared our news.....sorry babe, I guess A.J. will know who loves him more?!?!)

It is "almost" official

2010-03-15T14:08:00.002-05:00

We just heard from our Case Manager and AJ is "almost" officially ours. The Ethiopian judge is missing one piece of paper from MOWA. He/she is supposed to have it tomorrow for the final approval. We are cautiously celebrating!!! Tomorrow is also the day that the American doctor in Addis will be examining and evaluating him. Tomorrow is a big day!!

I told someone yesterday that I don't know how you walk this journey (or any other for that matter) if you are not a believer. Through all the uncertainty, the waiting, and the unknown, I have rested in the fact that He is my Rock. It is beyond comforting for me to know that He loves AJ more than I do and our lives are in His hands. He is teaching me things I never would have known that have strengthened my faith and brought me closer to Him. I am forever grateful......

2010-03-08T15:59:00.001-06:00

No news today......I am emotionally exhausted!

Not today.....

2010-02-22T15:54:00.002-06:00

Well we didn't get the news we were hoping for. The call came this morning telling me that MOWA did not have our paperwork ready for court. We were rescheduled for March 8th, which happens to be Ms. Harper's 3rd birthday. My mind was prepared for this, but not my heart.......two weeks seems like a long time away.

Today

2010-02-22T09:44:00.003-06:00

Today my chest fills heavy and I am distracted. My mind is consumed with what is taking place in that Ethiopian court room thousands of miles away. My heart is heavy for AJ's birth mother. She is there. After court ends she will be given a letter from us along with an album of our family and home so that she can hold onto a piece of her son's future. What brought her to make this decision? What were the circumstances that would lead her to relinquish all rights to her son? Is she a believer? How can I feel so connected to someone that I have never met?

Philippians 4:6 tells me, "Do not be anxious about anything, (that's a little difficult for me right now), but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present my request to God."

Psalms 46:10 tells me, "Be still and know that He is God."

Nap time

2010-02-18T17:06:00.003-06:00

Look what we found....she is still holding her pen.

Snow Fun

2010-02-17T19:51:00.003-06:00

It's been great but come on spring!!

(Can't figure out how to rotate Carson)?

The first time we saw his face......

2010-01-30T18:01:00.015-06:00

Well here is the post I have been attempting to publish for a few weeks now. This has been difficult for me. I have read and enjoyed many posts by other families after they received their referral call. Their posts were almost immediate. They describe every special moment of "the call". I on the other hand, have trouble knowing where to start. I have thought of Mary (because you know we have so much in common) when the angel appeared to her and revealed the Christ child living in her and she "pondered these things in her heart". Maybe I just haven't been ready until now to let all of this escape my heart. It seems like I will cheapen the experience and the moment by putting it into words......following is my feeble attempt.

On Wednesday, Feb. 20th I was on my way to church. It was about 5:oo and it was dreary and rainy. Syd, Hudson and Harper were in the car with me. Jody was a few minutes behind with Carson and a friend of hers that was going to church with us. We were on our way to enjoy dinner before Wednesday night activities began. The phone rang (see above picture), and I immediately recognized All God's Children's number. My heart jumped. This scenario had played out many times in my mind and I couldn't imagine any other reason that they would be calling unless it was a referral. Our case manager immediately explained that she did have a child for us to consider. She told us that he was 4 years old and that he did have a medical condition. They were uncertain as to the cause. "Do you want to know more (because of the condition) or do you not want to move along any further?" That was her question. I told her I would speak to Jody (we always ride to church together except this time, of course) and call her right back. Of course Sydney and Hudson caught on to the conversation. As I was explaining what I knew of his medical condition and my concern, Hudson said "Well mom what does that matter. God made him and if he is sick then that is OK." Whew....the tears started then!

As soon as Jody got to church I (pounced on him) calmly explained the phone call. (Did I mention we were standing in the church hallway with all our kids and a friend)? Jody immediately said "yes, call her back". While he attempted to get the kids some dinner I talked more with our case manager. She gave me a brief description and emailed the rest home. We poured over the information, his pictures, personality profile, and background information (other picture above). His beautiful smile is what I saw first, the look on his face was precious. It looked like he was tickled at something or someone. How could a sweet baby that has experienced so much loss smile? The information we received stated that he was "smiley, playful, and had adjusted well. He can put on his shoes, run, brush his teeth, and plays well with other children. He also enjoys being around adults and will look them in the eye" We had limited family background.

We also read (and re-read) his medical information. I have to say that by now I was an emotional mess. I now see that I was overwhelmed by God's sovereignty. Jody and I had prayed many, many, MANY times about the child God had for us....our prayer was that we wanted who God wanted.

When we began the adoption process we didn't expect to get a baby. It was always our intention to get an older child, but as the months ticked by and there were no referrals for us (no older children from Hannah's Hope that were adoptable and within our parameters) we began to believe that we would bring home a baby. It felt a little wrong (for lack of a better term) to accept a referral for a baby when there were many families on the wait list that were doing just that. If we would take an older child, then why wasn't that working out. This is what floored me, this little boy (we are going to call him AJ) didn't arrive at Hannah's Hope until just a days before. We had waited all this time (when it didn't make any sense that there were no older children to be adopted) because God was waiting on AJ to get there! He was waiting to bring this little boy to us!

I wish I could say that I never feared, but I did...immediately. I am so thankful that Jody remained strong and steadfast. There was never a question if we would take him or not (we had prayed to many times that we would take whoever He had for us), but it took me a while to accept that we could be bringing home a very sick little boy. We weren't given much hope that we would have a diagnosis before we came home with him. The next day I forwarded all medical information to the International Pediatrician. It is her job to access his condition with the limited records we give her. I knew that she needed to lay out all scenarios, good and bad, but I could have done without. Some were very serious, life threatening. The days that followed were mixed with joy and anxiety. God was showing me who was boss. Again, I am so thankful for Jody's steadfastness. He was confident and I needed that. I will never forget a conversation between the two of us on Friday evening. We came to the conclusion that we never ever would wish that any of our children would be sick. We prayed for them when they were in utero and would have taken them, loved them, and cared for them no matter how there were born. It was no different with AJ and that was freeing for me.

So fast-forward a few weeks and here we are. We are going to court on Feb. 22nd. I have grown to love this little boy. We don't have a moment as a family that I do not picture him with us.....taking a bath, playing around the house, going to church, eating around our table, etc. I can "feel" myself holding him. I pray that he will know the saving grace of our Father at a young age. I pray that he will feel safe and loved from the moment we meet. I pray for the awkward moments that may come as he ages and is asked about his adoption.

We have received a handful of medical test results to date. The doctor seems comfortable ruling out some of the more serious concerns at this time, but there is so much we don't know. I am thankful. I am scared. I am resting in Him.

More Christmas

2009-12-28T14:19:00.000-06:00

Christmas photos

2009-12-28T14:12:00.000-06:00

While we are waiting.....

2009-12-28T14:00:00.002-06:00

No change on the adoption Wait List as far as we know. Still hanging in at #9! Here are a few things going on while we are waiting.....

1. We have all been sick with a nasty fever, sore throat, body ache mess....Yuck! All seem to be better now.
2. Spending time with family and friends over the Christmas holiday....pictures to come.
3. Beginning to think about how to arrange furniture in Hudson (and his new brother's room).
4. Found out Carson has mono!
5. Putting up Christmas decorations (Jody's favorite)?

God continues to show me His goodness......His mercies are truly "new every morning".

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-24T23:48:00.000-06:00

Good news first.....

2009-12-03T17:40:00.003-06:00

The good news is we are now officially #9 on the Wait List. The bad news is we have 3 girls sick with strep throat....yuck!

Lots of testosterone around here today........

2009-11-25T19:36:00.001-06:00

Happy 40th Leigh Ann

2009-11-16T20:36:00.001-06:00

Kelley, Leigh, Leigh Ann, and I celebrated Leigh Ann's 40th Birthday in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We spent 3 days laughing, watching movies, setting in the hot tub, eating, shopping, and sleeping in. It was so nice to get away with no agenda or set plan. We just did what we wanted when we wanted....and with 12 kids between us we did NOT take one minute for granted. I am so grateful for wonderful friends (and husbands that took care of the kids)!!!

Trying to "stuff" all our Christmas shopping in the van?

Kelley and Leigh Ann start a fire?

Hudson's 8th Birthday

2009-11-16T20:30:00.001-06:00

Jody, Hudson, and I celebrated his 8th birthday last night at the Colts and Patriots game in Indianapolis. We had a blast!! The Colts won in the last 7 seconds of the game, 34 to 35. We set in a sky box/suite with all you could eat chicken wings, pizza, chili dogs, cheeseburgers, soft drinks, etc. Hudson (and Jody) were in football "heaven"! We were so blessed by these tickets that were given by a friend Jody works with......thank you!! In the second picture Hudson is holding the SUPER BOWL TROPHY the Colts won in 2006.....I was so scared he was going to drop it!?!?! Jody and I talked on the way home of how valuable this one on one time is with each of the kids. What a great night!!!

That's exactly right!

2009-11-10T07:29:00.002-06:00

"How we live our days is how we live our lives." - Francis Chan

Just for fun

2009-10-22T16:48:00.000-05:00

Here's a close up of the laundry (it's all clean by the way)!! **See post below**

There he is......

2009-10-22T16:42:00.001-05:00

When we moved into this house two years ago Jody and I splurged and bought this king size bed with a really nice, comfy, cozy mattress. I love my bed!!! (and apparently so does someone else...) I took this picture at about 7:00 this morning (obviously with the help of the flash). Every night (around 2:30-3:00 a.m.) Hudson makes his way into our room and stretches out across the bottom of the bed. Most nights we leave a pillow and blanket there for him. In this picture, he just helped himself to my robe off the floor. The only problem now is that he is getting big and there is no longer room for mine or Jody's legs. We wake up in a ball, legs curled to our chins!?!!? No wonder I need a chiropractor. He is so sweet I can hardly stand it!! I'm not sure how this is going to work when he becomes a teenager.....guess we'll get a bigger bed.

Did you catch the laundry pile next to the wall......it's still there!!

Big Girl!!!

2009-10-22T16:33:00.001-05:00

Look who no longer needs diapers!!! I know there is a special crown in heaven for moms that endure potty training.....(I'm up to 4)!!!

Is it Groundhog's Day?

2009-10-15T14:19:00.006-05:00

I told Jody this morning that I feel like I am in the movie "Groundhog Day." Every morning this week I have woken up the the day before. Gray skies, cool weather, rain, kids running circles through the house (including a few of the neighbors), sugar cookies, brownies, my favorite sweatpants, and the smell of Pumpkin Roll in my Scentsy candle holder. It may not be pretty, but it's working for us!! We have done NOTHING productive this week. Carson is out of school for Fall Break, so we decided to do the same with our homeschooling and join in (one of the joys of homeschooling)!! The most exciting thing happening this week is that I am finally going to get my hair cut and highlighted tonight (guess I better wash my sweatpants before I go)?!

All good things must come to an end! Monday is going to hit us hard!! But, I will enjoy this while it lasts!!

It's Going to be a Long Wait.......

2009-10-12T19:36:00.005-05:00

Well, we officially went on the Waiting List with AGC last Monday. We are #15. But, here is the kicker.....the families ahead of us on the list are all waiting for little boys, no older than 18 months. We have said we would take a boy through age 4. I really don't know how long to expect our wait to be. I just know that every time the phone rings my heart jumps and I hope the caller ID shows our agencies' name. My head knows that I must be logical....this is a process that takes time....it could be months. My heart however is hopeful that we will get a call.....NOW!!! Since we made this decision to adopt we have poured so much time and energy into the paperwork that at times it didn't seem real. But now that is all over and we just wait, and pray. I pray that my future son has a full belly and a warm bed to sleep in. I pray for the orphanage workers that are caring for him and for his parents/family members that he may never see again. I pray that God is preparing his heart and his mind for what is to come.....and then I wait some more.

In Her Own Words

2009-10-12T14:58:00.006-05:00

Carson went to El Salvador on a mission trip with Starfish Orphan Ministries back in June with her dad. She desperately wants to go back. This is a copy of a letter that she wrote:

"This June Starfish Orphan Ministry took a mission trip to El Salvador. It would be their third time. But for me, it was my first time. One thing that I would say is that the country, the kids, and the people of El Salvador take up about 3/4 of my heart. Everyday I think about what we did and what we saw. I always wonder about what the kids are thinking and doing. I feel the calling to go back very deeply and I feel like it is more of a need than a want. I really feel that God is laying on my heart a passion for missions. I feel as if God could take me anywhere but for right now, I really feel that God is leading me to El Salvador each day. I am thinking and praying about El Salvador and praying to God that He will make my path clear and show me where to go. Alot of nights I have dreams about meeting up with all the kids and being able to see them again just bottles me up with joy and excitement. Every single time somebody asks me about how did you like your trip it's as if I just can't explain how much I loved it. I feel as if I can't even write all my feelings down on this paper. I do have to admit I was very nervous about going on the trip. But once I started to spend time with the kids I knew that this is exactly and I mean right on target where God wanted me to be. Before I finish this paper I wanted to let my parents know how thankful I am for letting me go on this trip and I had a great time with my dad. I can't imagine a better person to go with. I also want to think everybody who helped us raise money and also thank mom and dad for being very patient with me when I keep on saying I want to go back to El Salvador."

I just loved this. I am so proud of her. She asks every single day if she can go back!! All she wants for Christmas is a plane ticket. I pray for God to use her life in a mighty way!!

Mountains and Goats and Bears, Oh My!-Gatlinburg 2009

2009-10-08T21:55:00.002-05:00

Before our hike to Grotto Falls

A few of our fellow hikers.....Charis and William

A little time with Pop (Nana we missed you)!

Our new "friend"!

Gatlinburg Part 2

2009-10-08T21:51:00.001-05:00

The girls and I on a horseback ride.

Our reward from our hike to Grotto Falls......beautiful!

Quick snapshot in the cabin.

Fellow family hikers....Josh, Michelle, and Aidan.

Gatlinburg Part 3

2009-10-08T21:43:00.003-05:00

Harper "loving" on the goats at the Petting Zoo

A friend suggested this would be a great Christmas Card....."Baaaaa Humbug"

Mamma and cubs outside our cabin. We saw them several times!! So much for our afternoon walks.

Relaxin

#15

2009-10-08T21:36:00.002-05:00

As of Monday, we are number 15 on the list with All God's Children!!

The Difference Between Girls and Boys

2009-10-08T21:32:00.002-05:00

Hudson went to Connecticut with my in-laws a few weeks ago. This is the conversation we had the night before he was to leave:

Me-"Hudson, let's go get your stuff packed."
Him-"I don't care what I take, can you pack it?"
Me-"Are you sure?"
Him-"Yes"

So I go downstairs to get his stuff ready and I notice that Syd is right behind me. She wanted to help. She packed all of his things...toothbrush, clothes, underwear.....I mean everything. Then we decided we needed to get his carry-on for the plane ready. The picture you are looking at is his carry-on, that Sydney packed. She attached a note (as shown) to the outside of his backpack that diagrammed and labeled where everything is located inside. (Example: Outside Pocket-gum, coloring book, model skateboards, Tylenol, etc.) This was priceless to me!! She was very concerned that when he got on the plane he would not know where all of his things were?!?!

I smiled about this for days. Sydney has always been a "caretaker". How blessed will her future husband and children be one day......that is if Hudson ever lets her go.....he knows a good thing when he has it!?!?!?

Funny in a Sad Kind of Way

2009-08-20T22:15:00.003-05:00

We had a big scare in our family a few weeks ago. Jody's dad had his second heart attack. Ironically, he has had both of his heart attacks (the first was 20 years ago) while running/training for mini-marathons. I know, that's crazy. Praise God, he is doing amazingly well. Hudson, however has been traumatized. Last week he was convinced that his heart stopped beating. This has continued on for several days now. I am not kidding when I say that 15 times a day he stops, checks his heartbeat and pulse, and then comes to tell me that it has stopped beating. The first several (I mean several) times I would set him down and explain that he is fine and I would help him feel the beat. Now, it is driving me nuts. In the middle of math, eating breakfast, going to bed, he panics about his heart beat. I now tell him, "Hudson, if it wasn't beating you would be dead." I realize that seems very insensitive. If he doesn't get past this we both are going to need some medical intervention!! Good thing he's so cute!

Straight to the Heart

2009-08-20T21:54:00.002-05:00

I have been reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love, Overwhelmed by a Relentless God". This is a fantastic book. I have it underlined all over the place. I read the following tonight, I actually read it over several times: ""People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress." Here's some more...."Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control....Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed."

Here's to a Great Week

2009-08-16T18:51:00.002-05:00

We had our first full homeschool week. It was great!! Jody and I were talking yesterday and I told him that I feel like our lives have slowed down tremendously. I'm not spinning my wheels all day. I'm not exactly sure how I have added the extra responsibilities of homeschool and yet feel less "busy", but I am very thankful. We have been able to take the most productive part of the day and make it really count. Syd and Hudson have been eager to dig in and get their work done. Now Harper is a different story......not so eager to cooperate with her 2 1/2 year old tantrums, but we are working on it. I miss Carson tremendously. I believe our decision to send her on to 7th grade was a good one for now, but there is definitely something missing !! We'll see!! One year (one day for that matter) at a time....

What is she thinking??

2009-06-23T18:18:00.000-05:00

Spring Break 09

2009-06-23T18:16:00.000-05:00

It's been so long since I have been able to post some pictures that I am probably getting a little carried away!?

We tried a new camping spot this spring. We went to Prizer Point in Cadiz. It was nice. We had a great time. Lots of fishing and bike riding. Some stormy weather came along that cut our trip a little short (I didn't want to ride out a thunder/hail storm in a pop up), but we had a wonderful few days.

Sydney's 10!!

2009-06-23T18:06:00.000-05:00

I can't believe she is 10! We had a great party!! We swam, ate homemade ice cream (Butterfinger of course.....her favorite) and lots of cake. Here are a few pics to capture the night!!

If you could only see my mailbox.....

2009-06-10T14:28:00.008-05:00

If my silly cord worked and I could plug in my camera and show you the picture of my mailbox right now you would see that the flag is up, meaning that I need my mail lady to come and take the contents. Any other day this would be no big deal. Maybe some bills or a card. Today it is a VERY BIG DEAL!! The contents in my mailbox consist of an envelope addressed to All God's Children Adoption Agency. There is an adoption application in the packet, a $300 check, and two pictures of my family. I stood at my front door for several minutes before I turned the handle to walk down my sidewalk to the mailbox. Is this for real?? Are we really doing this?? Yes we are!!!

Before I started this post I paused to read the previous one. How could I have ever imagined what was to come in a few short weeks. Adoption is something that Jody and I have talked about over the past few years. You know those conversations you have in the car on your way home from a trip (when the kids are not clowning around of fussing). But over the past several months those conversations have become very real. They have turned from "what if" to "let's pray". I felt the restlessness, the longing, the aching fade away. We prayed that we would be allowed to be a part of something only God could do. That our hearts would change. That we would be conformed to His image. I told a dear friend last night (at the baseball park while we were dodging crazy foul ball and trying to watch our 2 year olds) that only God could allow this much uncertainty and yet total peace.

We decided several months ago that we wanted another child. We have had months of trying to conceive (which is very odd for us) and one miscarriage in the spring. As each month has gone by God confirmed our desire for more children. Just not in the way we first assumed. Doesn't that sound like Him?? But, I believe that if it had not been for these experiences we might not have gotten to the decision to adopt.

So, as of now, I see a trip to Africa in our future (unless He has other plans). We are being very open with our possibilities. We would love a son. Another little boy would be fantastic. But, I don't want to shut any doors. I have spent countless hours reading, blogging, praying, and reading more. Anything I can get my hands on regarding orphans in Africa, particularly Ethiopia and Rwanda.

Did you know that in Ethiopia:

1 in 3 people are HIV positive (with no access/education on American drugs that could save them)

1 in 10 children die before their 1st birthday

1 in 6 die before their 5th birthday

720,000 children have been orphaned due to AIDs

5 million orphans live in a country less than twice the size of Texas

My eyes have been opened to the terrible conditions, the effects of genocide, poverty, child prostitution/sex trade, HIV. As a Christian I can't turn away. I feel like I am just beginning to truly learn that my life is not my own. As we take this step, I feel like we are relinquishing all control and may never get it back?!?

Hold on to Me

2009-04-30T11:50:00.004-05:00

"I try to be good enough, but I am nothing without your love, Savior please, keep saving me....." As I set to type this post, this song is playing on the ipod. It seems fitting. I seem to be on the verge of tears most days. Not because I feel stressed or worried. Not because I am tired (even though I am). But because I want something more....something I don't even know yet. My heart literally aches. I long for a more genuine, true, uninhabited faith that holds nothing back. Did you know that there are 143 million children in the world with no parents? People under our own noses that are in need, desperate need. Families are falling apart. Our teenagers are held to such low expectations....if they don't do drugs, get pregnant, or try to commit suicide than we're doing OK??? And you turn on the news, and all you hear is the newest stats on Swine Flu or the ups n downs of the stock market.

How's that for some doom and gloom? Maybe I shouldn't have turned on the computer. Sorry!! I pray for us, that we will be mighty warriors, bold, wherever He should take us and in His name!

Let's Try This Again

2009-03-12T10:10:00.005-05:00

I have missed blogging! I want to do this so badly, but other things just get in the way. For example, Jody is out of town on business and this is a recount of my last several hours: Harper will not leave her diaper on and has peed in the floor 3 times, Carson spilt a glass of ice water all over Syd's homework, Syd spilt a Diet Coke can out of the refrigerator, Hudson threw up (gagged while coughing) and Murray (the dog) threw up 4 times because Harper had been feeding him scrambled eggs. This is one to many messes, especially when the cloud of pregnancy nausea is hovering over!!

Oh well, another day around here!! So, I am going to have to work in this blog. I soooo want to preserve this journey for my kids (not to mention it is a great way to keep long distance family and friends plugged into our lives). So for all of my blog fans (all 2 of you), hold my feet to the fire on this!

Tomorrow

2009-01-21T12:15:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is the 35th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Following is a quote from Mother Theresa:

"I feel the greatest destroyer of today is abortion because it is a war against the child, a direct killing of the innocent child, murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that the mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell people not to kill one another? As always, we must persuade her with love, and we must remind ourselves that love means being willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even His own life to love us.... By abortion the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. This is why the greatest destroyer of peace is abortion."

Merry Christmas

2008-12-21T15:33:00.001-06:00

"Blessed is she who believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished". Luke 1:45

Oh Yes I Did.....

2008-12-05T13:59:00.003-06:00

In the last week I have made (from scratch):

Homemade biscuits
Homemade doughnuts (with leftover biscuit dough)
Homemade peanut butter fudge
Homemade sugar cookies with homemade icing

(As I was typing this it occurred to me how funny this is in light of my last post?!?!?!)

A Few Kind Words

2008-11-28T19:19:00.003-06:00

I love my grandaddy! I have so many wonderful memories of him.....riding his motorcycle as a little girl, tennis trips, endless hours of studying and doing laundry during college, golf lessons, and so much more. He is precious to me and every time I see him now tears well up in my eyes. The last two times I have been with him (Gatlinburg and yesterday for Thanksgiving) he shared some kind words with me. Here is what he said, "Shannon, I am so proud of you. You are to be commended. (I was melting at this point) I often brag on you to my friends. I tell them that you have four children, (and here is the best part), and you are not fat?!?!?" No, I am not kidding, that is what he said. And he was dead serious! He went on to say that he and his friends set at Kroger drinking coffee and talk about all of the fat women that walk thru pushing their carts. I was speechless the first time he told me. "Thanks, Grandaddy" was about all I could say. When he repeated this to me again yesterday, all that would come out was "Thanks". Tell me, what do you say to that?

More Gatlinburg

2008-11-26T15:10:00.000-06:00

Gatlinburg

2008-11-26T15:07:00.001-06:00

We had such a great time in Gatlinburg! This trip never disappoints. We had a ping pong tournament, ice skating, alpine slide races, shopping downtown, a hike up Laurel Falls (in the rain), a visit from a grizzly bear, lots of great food and fun! The weather was beautiful......look at the trees through the window in the picture of Harper. What a blessing to have grandaddy with us also! We were exhausted when we came home but I wouldn't have traded one single moment. (More pictures to come!)

We have a little work to do....

2008-11-26T14:57:00.000-06:00

This is what I got when I asked Hudson to hang up his shirt??!! He really had no idea what the problem was?

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-21T16:13:00.003-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us,and we are HIS; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the LORD is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."
Psalm 100:1-5

Happy Happy

2008-08-19T13:05:00.003-05:00

There is nothing that makes me more happy than spending $652 on repairs for a 10 year old truck that most days sets behind our garage! Do you know what I could do with $652? (I am having visions of a new hutch for our dining room right before my eyes.) This is the same truck that has a dented bed because of a tree falling on it during an ice storm and the bottom of the passenger door is torn up because someone (of course not me) ran over a large stump!!

But you know what makes me even happier (the real down deep in your heart happy).....having a REALLY cute husband that REALLY likes his truck!! He is a "truck" kind of man!! I should mention that this "truck" kind of man is also willing to drive a 11 year old van so that our family is not stuck with a car payment and we can use the money to do lots of fun, family stuff. Yep that's what I love........that's what makes me happy!!!!!

These Days....

2008-08-18T16:35:00.001-05:00

Doctor's office, pharmacy, two sick kids, one sick mom, Tylenol, Ammoxicillan, more Tylenol.......

Summer Hightlights Part 2

2008-08-14T15:14:00.000-05:00

Luvin' our Cousins (and those aunts aren't to bad)

No golf course is big enough for this crew......

Hudson looses his first tooth

Summer Highlights

2008-08-14T13:42:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday Ninny!!

FUN AT THE BEACH

"I'm getting the hang of this walking business"

All Good Things Must Come to an End

2008-08-13T15:25:00.006-05:00

Well, summer break is officially over! We are back to school and have hit the ground running! As usual, this time of the year brings mixed emotions for me. I am sad that the "care-free" days of staying up late, sleeping in, swimming, bike rides, and just being together are over. I love not having a schedule....for a while, but then as August draws near I can feel the kids, and myself, growing antsy. They are anxious to start their new classes and see their friends and I am ready for some order (if that is really possible)?!? It seems that as summer comes to an end they bicker and fuss with each other more and I spend way to much time playing referee!

I truly believe that Harper is glad to have mommy back all to herself! She just walks around the house smiling, laughing, and babbling. We have rocked, read many books, and I am treasuring the one on one time with her that I haven't had all summer. If she could talk I believe she would say "Whoopee they're gone......" Deep, deep down in her heart I know she misses them???

So the past few days I have been catching up on laundry and housecleaning! Harper and I have visited the kids at school for lunch and taken some long walks in the morning. As I think about these things I am reminded of why I titled this blog "For This Season", in this life things don't ever stay the same. The kids are growing and changing! They are different than they were this time last year, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My role as their mom is ever changing with them. As much as I may want to hold on to where we were I must let go and embrace where we are......"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."

"The Coma"

2008-07-30T14:26:00.001-05:00

Ok, I know I said I was not posting anything until after school started, but this was to funny to pass up. Following is the conversation Hudson and I had yesterday:

Me-"Hudson, are you ready for school to start"
Him-"No, tell them I am sick"
Me-"Well buddy are you going to be sick all year?"
Him (very nonchalantly)-"Yeah, tell them I have 'the coma' and I can't come"

I will return....

2008-07-21T20:05:00.000-05:00

Be back August 12th......(after school starts)!!!

Weekend of Firsts

2008-06-09T14:34:00.003-05:00

This was Harper's weekend of firsts:

First time "swimming" in the pool
First haircut
First sucker (good distraction for above haircut)
First time climbing stairs (I'm getting a gate TODAY)
First taste of dog food....sorry Murray?!

2008-06-03T17:41:00.001-05:00

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."-Elizabeth Stone

We Are Alive!!

2008-06-02T22:22:00.004-05:00

Summer Break is here!! We kicked things off with a trip to the lake and an afternoon at the movies. We saw "Prince Caspian" (not as good as "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"), but we had a great time nonetheless. We have been in a flurry of activity ever since then. We have made a few trips to the pool, the library, and hope to hit Venture River sometime this week!! Everyday the kids wake up with an expectation of how I am going to entertain them that day. Imagine their surprise on days like yesterday when they got to clean their rooms, give the dog a bath, sweep the porch, and help me put away laundry?!?

I love the simplicity of summer. Staying up late (this is a killer for daddy who still has to go to work), sleeping in, making big breakfasts, playing outside, riding bikes, and of course their favorite....swimming! No worries of homework, school uniforms, or what they want in their lunchboxes for the next day!!

Now that we have settled into this "season" I hope to find plenty of time to blog and read. I am doing a "Your Girl-Raising a Godly Daughter in an Un-Godly World" study at church and also participating in a "Shepherding a Child's Heart" class. We are looking forward to our beach trip in a few weeks and Miss Sydney's birthday. Carson is off to visit our "far away" family soon and Hudson starts golf lessons. Harper is taking her first steps and babbles constantly!.....Did I mention how much I LOVE SUMMER BREAK!!!!

Gone Fishing....

2008-05-18T20:54:00.000-05:00

Like father like son........

A Girl's Best Friend

2008-05-18T20:50:00.000-05:00

My mom bought Harper this monkey last Christmas. She loves it! It sits on the floor in her room and sometimes when we rock in the rocking chair our "friend" has to be included (it is about 4 times her size). Yesterday when Jody laid her in her bed she wanted the monkey to come also. When he went in to check on her a few minutes later this is what he found.....she was sound asleep!

Yeah Me!

2008-05-10T21:31:00.000-05:00

Here is my Mother's Day gift! We have been swingin' the day away! Look at my man working so hard to hang it for me......

Happy Mothers Day

2008-05-10T21:07:00.002-05:00

"God designed mothers to partner with Him in His eternal work, and He has promised to reward our faith and our faithfulness. The precious children He has placed in our hands are hoping that we will be faithful and endure so that they will have a reason to hope and an example to follow in their own lives. It is for the children's sake that we give our lives. We are protecting future generations so that they might be strong for the battle of life. We are the real, in-the-flesh, tangible picture of God's loving hands, strong arms of protection, and encouraging words of hope to our children." Sally Clarkson

2008-05-08T13:48:00.005-05:00

I have had several experiences over the past several months that have reminded me that I am clearly dealing with two very different stages of life. For example, yesterday Carson and I went to the mall to buy some summer clothes (because NOTHING fits her from last year.....she has gone up two sizes in the last 3 months). She wanted to go to Hollister to look for some shirts?!? Ok, I thought, "We can do that".....but all the while I am thinking, "What about Gymboree"? Have you ever been in Hollister? It is very dark, the music is extremely loud, the mannequins are half-naked, the cologne will knock you over, and there is NOT ONE PERSON working in that store over the age of 14! I didn't want to be "uncool", so I put a smile on and off we went. She did find 2 t shirts (on sale in the back....how we ever found them I do not know since there are no lights on in the place), we paid, and we left...whew!

When we got home we discovered that one of the shirts did not fit! Shoot! So this morning Harper and I head back to the mall for an exchange. This is where I get to the "baby" stage of life I am in........I forgot until I got there that there are 2 sets of stairs you must climb before you can even get in the store. So here I go, hiking her stroller up and down those stairs. I make my way back to get another shirt and Harper kicks her shoe off. Well, I can't look for it because I CAN'T SEE....remember IT'S DARK! Finally some 12 year old (I guess the 6th grade is out today) brings it to me.....I'm sure he knew it was mine because there were no other moms with strollers in the place. I take my new shirt to the counter and have a 5 minute "yelling" match with the boy behind the counter.....remember the music is so loud you can't hear! As I am hiking the stroller back up those same steps to leave I hear an employee say "have a good day." I turn just in time to see the underwear of this young girl that is laying on top of a half-naked male mannequin as she was dressing him for a display!! At least she used some manners.......

Ticked Off!!!

2008-04-27T18:11:00.004-05:00

The last few days have been miserable, I mean MISERABLE! I have strep throat, ear infections in both ears, have thrown up in my car, and gotten two (not one but two) shots in my hips! I have not been handling this very well. Being sick makes me mad, and I don't remember ever feeling this bad.

Early one morning (3:30 a.m.) I woke Jody up and told him that I was driving myself to the Emergency Room. I could not take it anymore. He wasn't fond of my idea. In his defense I must confess that just a few hours before I was a little out of my mind and saying strange things about ducks on our front porch and dogs on our bedroom floor.....pain medicine and I don't mix!! I did what any mature 34 year old mother of 4 would do.....I stomped upstairs and cried! "I don't understand why you want me to feel this way?" Nuts I tell you!!

I am happy to report that I am much better today.....if my right ear would cooperate I would have no complaints!!!

"Family Driven Faith"

2008-04-23T12:14:00.003-05:00

Wow! I finished this book in just over 24 hours! (You can imagine what kind of disarray my house is in right now.) Voddie Baucham, Jr. (the author) stepped on my toes and got in my face all at the same time??? After I finished the book last night I could not sleep. As soon as Jody got up this morning I was shoving it under his nose asking him if he thought he could finish it by this afternoon....no comment!

According the Voddie, "It is as though Christian parents in America have been lulled to sleep while the thief has come in to steal, kill, and destroy our children right under our noses." (see John 10:10) According to researchers, 70-88 percent of Christian teens are leaving the church by their 2nd year in college. He puts the responsibility for this crisis on the parents.....according to the Bible it is the parents job to teach, disciple, and raise up their children in the Lord....not our Christian schools, youth leaders, or Vacation Bible School teachers. "A family without a commitment to the God of the Bible has no hope of stemming the tide of cultural onslaught.....Unfortunately, this is exactly what many Christian families do. We do marriage according to Dr. Phil, raise our children according to Dr. Spock, govern our sex lives according to Dr. Ruth, and only run to Dr. Jesus when things have gotten so bad we can't find another doctor to help us." He also had so many other good points. He challenges the way we "do"church today. He encourages families to have worship time together at home in addition to prayer and Bible study. "Why is it that Christian families think nothing of a lifestyle that demands hours per week traipsing across town (ball games, gymnastics, birthday parties, etc.), blood, sweat, and tears from children, and thousands of dollars each year from our bank accounts, but the idea of a twenty-minute daily commitment to family worship immediately strikes them as too much to ask? I fear that we have lost our way..."

I am going to have to let this really sink in! I can't wait for Jody to read it.....I just prayed last night that God would open our hearts and minds to any changes we needed to make for our family! I pray that we will live boldly for His kingdom and that we will raise mighty warriors in His name who know why they believe what they believe....to the very core of their sweet little souls!!!

This Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2008-04-23T11:48:00.001-05:00

Here are my girls, climbing a "very large" hill on our camping trip over Spring Break! As I watched them climb, I realized how different these two are.

As you can see Sydney is at the top, arms spread wide open. She "runs" through life with no fear. She is confident, she is strong. She doesn't care if her hair (or teeth) or brushed. She doesn't care about her clothes or what her peers at school think of her. But what you can't see are the scrapes and bruises on her sweet little legs. This little girl tripped, fell, slid, and accumulated more "boo-boos" on this trip than you can imagine. That is one of the things that I love about her......she doesn't live her life "scared" and doesn't take anything to seriously. She cries for a little bit, laughs, dusts herself off and moves on.

If you will notice, Carson has her head turned back toward me. I guarantee you that as she slowly made her way up the hill she was thinking, "Should I be doing this.....What if I fall?......What if I see a snake?....How am I going to get back down?" Her maturity amazes me I am so proud of her. She loves and "feels" so deeply. She thinks situations through and she desperately wants to do the right thing. She worries about what others think and wants to be the peacemaker. The morning we went for this hike she was up, dressed, teeth brushed, hair done, and ready to go before I even knew what time it was. She is cautious....there were no bruises or boo-boos on her legs?!?

Only God knows what is in store for my children! (And just in case you were curious, while they were climbing Hudson was laughing his head off peeing on the bushes...) As I think of each of their personalities and traits I am in awe of our Creator. What an awesome God! He created each of us so different, according to His "grand design". I pray so often that He will help me see what He desires for each of them. He has given them to me for such a short period of time, I want to foster and encourage them in accordance with His plan!

2008-04-16T20:40:00.003-05:00

Certain songs just hit me the right way! I have a few "favorites" that I can listen to over and over again. I have found a new one to add to my list, "Legacy" by Nicole Nordeman. This one has advanced quickly to the top of my list. These words pierced my heart.....

"I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one."

Smiling

2008-04-14T12:39:00.002-05:00

"How often do you smile at your children? Occasionally? When they please you? Or do they bask in the warmth of your continual smiles? Smiling at your children will change the atmosphere of your home. It will change the attitude and behavior of your children."

Nancy Campbell
"Above Rubies"

"The Right Stuff"

2008-04-04T13:57:00.004-05:00

I was walking on the treadmill this morning watching the Today Show. And low and behold, guess what, New Kids on the Block is making a come back! I have to say, I felt a twinge of excitement. I was 15 years old all over again! I actually wondered if there was anyway I could retain my dignity and buy a ticket for their comeback tour.....I'm not kidding!!

Lumpy Clay

2008-03-28T15:04:00.002-05:00

It seems like forever ago that I lasted added a post to this blog. Not because I didn't want to or didn't have the time, just that I really don't know what to say. Does it make sense that my mind and heart can be so "full"and "heavy" that I can't even get it all out? As I set down to type, I don't even want to try. I do know this.....I am in a new "season of life" that I can't even describe. God is exercising is sovereignty over me. I am beginning to understand the concept of the potter and the clay.......I am definitely that big pile of lumpy clay crying out to my Potter to form my innermost being into what He wants me to be....and could we hurry it up a little bit!!

Anyway....on a much lighter note....everything is moving and shaking around here! We just celebrated Easter last weekend. We followed normal tradition and went to Gallatin on Saturday. We had a wonderful time which included kite flying, an easter egg hunt, and dyin' a few eggs also. We went to worship service and Sunday School on Easter morning and then had lunch here with MM, PP, and the Barnhills. Late that afternoon we went to see "Horton Hears a Who" and then collapsed that evening.

That's about it! Carson has been home sick the past three days. I have hated that she has felt so bad, but it has been very nice having her home. She requires so little "physical" care from me now. I guess that is why I enjoy doting on her so much when she is sick.

Well, it's almost 3:30 and Syd and Hudson will come through the door any minute. Yeah!!! It's Friday!!

3 Perfect 10's

2008-02-26T08:45:00.001-06:00

Another great Father/Daughter dance! I believe this was Carson's 4th year and Syd's 3rd to dance the night away with their daddy. This has become an annual tradition that they all enjoy. It is a fundraiser for the orchestra here in town. The night includes pictures, dinner, and dancing till they drop. The girls love getting all dressed up, getting their nails and hair done and feeling like princesses. Jody enjoys just being with them!

Hudson and I also followed our normal tradition....a night at Chuck e Cheese. Games, pizza, and more games.....what more could a six year old boy want?

OREOS

2008-02-25T19:56:00.000-06:00

I love OREOS!

ICE..YIKES!

2008-02-18T17:19:00.000-06:00

I knew I didn't like winter! This is what we found last Monday morning after a winter/ice storm made its way through our "neck of the woods". Actually, it could have been much worse.....just a little damage to the truck and garage. Isn't there something about turning lemons into lemonade??

Grandmother

2008-01-30T09:10:00.000-06:00

Ok, I can no longer avoid this. I have known for several days that my next post would be about my grandmother, but I could not bring myself to set down and type. There is so much to say, and yet words have been difficult. She passed away last Tuesday (1/22/08) at 7:30 p.m. We are not sure why her body failed, but most presume it was a heart attack. Her last several moments were spent with my grandaddy eating ice cream. As he was leaving, he bent down to kiss her face and tell her he loved her. Their next meeting will be in heaven.

Dorothy Nell Trevathan Harris was a strong, smart, and practical woman. There is so much about her I don't ever want to forget. She was a great cook. I remember great meals at her house over the holidays as I was growing up. And of course, she knew just how she wanted everyone to set, how long it would take us to eat, how long to clean up, and had leftovers boxed up and ready for us to take on our way out the door. But often after these dinners she would let me "cook" in the bubbles in the sink. I have pictures of soap suds running down the cabinets to prove it. I remember shopping trips to buy frilly, lace dresses with little bells sewed to the inside.....matching lace socks and patton shoes to match. Grandmother was the bookeeper/secretary for B & B Brokers in Murray for many years. When I stayed with her and grandaddy during the summer she would take me to work...for the entire day. That's all day with a 7 year old trapped in a small office. She would always have "jobs" for me to do. I would put checks in numerical order, run messages to the guys in the machine shop, or type on her typewriter. We took a few vacations to the beach with them. Grandmother was afraid of the water and could not swim. But one trip she took swimming lessons while we were there. I remember thinking that was pretty neat. When I played tennis her and grandaddy would often take their vacation time to take me and mom to the out-of-town tournaments. Only now can I truly appreciate the sacrifices they made. Perhaps my fondest thoughts of grandmother take me to my years in college. She made a haven in their home for Jody and I. I could not even count the number of meals she fixed for us (lunch and dinner) or the loads of laundry she washed and folded, all while working full time. She paid my sorority dues, hemmed my homecoming skirts, loaned me her car, and encouraged me to set at their dining room table and study for those horrible accounting tests. But more importantly, she loved Jody. She treated him just like a grandson. She loved us, together! I hope she would be proud of us now.

Grandmother was strong. To her, things were right or they were wrong, they were black or white, not alot of room for "grey". The circumstances of life were not going to get her down. Sure things might get tough, but you pick yourself up, work your way through it, and move on!

She loved Jesus! She was dedicated to her church. I remember gospel music playing in her car (and Juicy Fruit bubble gum in the glove box). Her and grandaddy had many friends from their church they would eat dinner with and take trips together. Grandmother kept the 4 year olds in the nursery for several years. She believed in giving and sacrificing her time to care for the needs of others.

I guess I could sum up all of the above with this....she invested herself in me. Everyday I knew she loved me because she showed me. Even after I left Murray, we talked on the phone every single day. Just a phone call, often a few words just to say "hi" and stay connected. When the phone calls stopped, I believe my grieving for her began. Then she began missing birthdays and couldn't remember the kids names. Those family dinners at their home were not the same, she couldn't recall the simplest of recipes and would become very frustrated. Her decline continued and soon nor she or grandaddy could care for her daily needs. Shortly after mom, Linda, and grandaddy made the extremely difficult decision to put her in the nursing home. In alot of ways, she died then. She could no longer recognize my face, all of the things I just recalled from above were gone to her.....but not to me.

I look forward to being with her again one day. I wonder what that will be like? I rest now in the fact that she is no longer just a shell of herself laying in that nursing home bed. She is with the One who loves her so much more than any of us can even imagine.

2008-01-21T14:00:00.001-06:00

Can a 10 month old baby choke on a ponytail holder? I am trying to decide if I should take it from her, risk making her mad, and having to stop this post.....or......let her suck on it and watch her with the corner of my left eye. Yeah, I'll let her suck on it!

Anyway, not much to say today! The kids are all out of school for Martin Luther King Day. Syd and I have been laying in bed for the past hour watching "Kids by the Dozen", a reality show about this family in Massachusetts with 12 kids. I asked Syd how many children she wanted to have. She said 4, because she wanted to be just like me. Oh, the innocence of childhood. Wait a minute, Harper is in the trash dumping out bits of crayon that Murray chewed up...now I know a choking hazard when I see one?!? Have I mentioned it makes his poop very colorful!!

Tragedy avoided......I saved her from the crayons.

I am excited about starting my new Bible study. We are beginning, "Lord, Teach Me to Pray" by Kay Arthur. I am new to her studies but have heard great things (thank you Ang). I think I actually should be looking for a study titled, "Lord, Kick My Rear Out of Bed". The Word of God is "living and active", I know that, I crave that, I just get so aggravated when I don't take the time to dig into it with HIM! I am a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, etc. when I am filling myself with Jesus! I know I can't do "this life" on my own, the only thing I know for sure is that I will screw it up!?! I have been hit or miss with my "Jesus time" since Thanksgiving break. I am going to do better. I am saying this to the thousands of people that read this blog (well actually just 2 of you, maybe) so that you will hold me to it, ask me about it, please! If I tell you I haven't done it then you have permission to make me feel very, very, guilty!!

We Survived!

2008-01-19T20:47:00.001-06:00

Last night Carson had a slumber party. She invited all of the girls in her class.....7 all together (one of the many advantages of attending a small school). I believe that everyone had a very good time. They played hide and seek, sang karaoke, ate lots of junk food, danced to music, and giggled themselves silly! We only had one "crying because I feel left out" episode, and for a group of eleven and twelve year olds I thought that was pretty good. Carson was so sweet to let her brother and sister join in on alot of the fun.....Harper had her own "slumber" party with Maw Maw and Paw Paw. It has been a delight to see these girls grow up. I can vividly remember each of them in our early kindergarten/elementary years. I'm looking forward to see what the future holds! The night was a definite A+!

Love This

2008-01-17T14:40:00.000-06:00

Here is a quote from Charles Spurgeon:

"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it."

That's Right Sister

2008-01-10T22:01:00.000-06:00

Tonight I was upstairs with Carson, Hudson, and Harper. Harper was laying on her back fussing because she had fallen over and wanted to set back up. I was helping Carson with homework so I asked Hudson (playing golf on his PS2) to please set her back up. Without even a "huff", he picked her up and was giving his best attempt to accommodate her. Despite his effort, he could not get her in the right position. Carson walks right over to him, takes Harper, and sets her on the floor just like she needed to be. Then she says, "Hudson, when you get older your wife is going to have a lot of things to teach you!"

Uninteresting Information

2008-01-09T11:17:00.001-06:00

Maybe you don't know:

1. Anytime I walk out of a room I make sure the lights are all turned off (and the ceiling fans).
2. If I am watching TV at night before I go to sleep I make sure it is set on channel 6 (NBC) before I turn it off.
3. I hate wearing coats.
4. I hate being tickled.
5. I hate running out of hot water.
6. I type sentences out in my mind. If I have a thought in my head, sometimes I will pretend like I am actually typing it out on a keyboard.
7. If I have a thought that is bad, I will pinch myself really hard.
8. I have to sleep on flat pillows because my neck will hurt in the morning if I don't.
9. I can only chew cold things on the right side of my mouth because I have a sensitive tooth on the left side....which brings me to the following:
10. I would rather have 100 PAP smears than go the the dentist.
11. My "dream job" would be to work in labor and delivery!
12. I want our family to go on a foreign mission trip.
13. When I see people pushing their pets in "pet" strollers I want to scream!
14. I despise every minute of being out in the snow.....I love looking at it from my window!
15. I am terrified of tornadoes.
16. Rainy days (without tornado warnings) are my favorite.
17. I want to take a week long vacation with Jody to a very warm, sunny place.
18. I don't like coconut or anything raspberry.
19. I enjoy presidential politics.......I'm becoming a Huckabee fan.
20. If I could live anywhere else it would be Texas, don't know why. I have never even visited there?

Psalm 51

2008-01-09T10:43:00.000-06:00

I have read this passage before, but it has stuck with me for a few weeks now. I keep going back to it, over and over again. I am a firm believer that if something "follows you", you better pay attention!

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." (v. 10) As I read the words I think towards the future, I am asking Him to make my heart pure. Help me to see what it is within me that needs to go......my fears, my desires, my plans. To be honest that is a little scary! I also want His steadfast spirit renewed within. I think it is interesting that it says "renew". It doesn't say "create" a steadfast spirit, it says "renew" what is already there. I want it to be fresh and more deeply rooted.

But then a little further it says, "You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it: you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (v. 16-17) Wouldn't it be easier to bring him a dead sheep or sweet smelling oil? But break my spirit and my heart? I want to be happy, and blessed, and have everything that I want...my way and my time! I want to walk through this life without any pain or suffering. But then who would I be? What could I bring to the table then?

I don't know. I'm not sure what to expect. But I do know this, I want to be changed. I want to be more like Him this time next year. Isaiah 64:8 says, "Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

A Few Great Moments

2008-01-07T11:30:00.000-06:00

Here are a few of our great moments over the past few weeks:

1. Christmas morning-The kids were all up and ready, Murray even got in on the fun. We had a wonderful time watching them open their gifts!

2. On Dec. 30th we took them to see Wicked at the Fox Theatre in St. Louis. Sydney wrote in her journal that this was her favorite Christmas gift. We missed Harper, she spent the day with Nana.

3. Mom and I took Carson to Chicago to celebrate her 11th birthday! This is us having dinner at the American Girl Place.

4. We brought in 2008 with a sleep over at our house. We treasure the times that all 8 cousins can be together. This might be the beginning of a great New Year's Eve tradition! We also celebrated Carson's birthday (she isn't with our family from Connecticut very often on her birthday). She had two of her favorites, homemade pizza and strawberry cupcakes with strawberry icing!!

Kids Home for Break = No Computer Time for Me

2007-12-31T11:52:00.000-06:00

It is a cool, sunny New Years Eve Day. The house is relatively quite. Harper is asleep, Jody and Hudson are watching a basketball game, Sydney is playing at her friend's house, and Carson is vegged out watching "John & Kate Plus 8". I decided to sneak away for a minute and capture some of our last few weeks.

We have had a great Christmas! As I sit here and recall the last several days I feel the smile form on my face. Celebrating this first Christmas with Harper has been terrific. If she could talk I think she would say her favorite part was eating the bows and wrapping paper?! Carson got some more Webkinz (like she needed more of those), skates, fuzzy Crocs, an American Girl doll, and some clothes she wanted. Sydney has been learning how to play her Nintendo DS and has enjoyed her new American Doll as well. She also got a house for these (ugly) little pets that have big bobble heads. Hudson enjoys all his new toys that he can throw, hit, shoot, or wrestle.
My favorite gift has been Jody's extended vacation. He has been off for 11 days...1 more to go. We have also loved being in our new home. Since we decided to build a few years ago I have looked forward to having our family and friends here to celebrate this season. It has been great having plenty of space for everyone to be together, I am very grateful for that.

As happy as I am for Christmas to come, I am also ready when it is all over. I often find myself frustrated with all the "extra" that we as a society have added to this season. I can't for the life of me understand why people that do not believe in Jesus celebrate Christmas. It seems that we have taken the awesome birth of our Savior and "ho ho hoed it" into something that it was never meant to be. I'm really not trying to be a scrooge here, I love giving gifts and spending time with the people I treasure the most. I just find myself questioning our motives and our hearts every year when Christmas rolls around. Here's another question I have, we hear so much about Angel Tree, visiting nursing homes, and giving to those who are less fortunate during Christmas. What are we doing the other 364 days? Are we just adding this "extra" work during the holiday to make ourselves feel better about the hundreds of dollars we are spending and all of those parties we are going to?

OK, I'll stop now! Whew, maybe I had more to get off my chest than I realized. We are off to a new year and I am more blessed than I could have ever asked for or imagined. I guess instead of sharing my frustrations with this computer I should ask my Creator for some advice.