Come on girl, pull it together

As I set down to type this post I am watching my puppy (that is still far from house trained) chew up my pretty red Christmas bow. You know what, I'm going to let him chew....chew Murray chew! Harper is asleep and I have about 30 minutes until I have to pick up the others from school. My house is a WRECK, I have no idea what we are eating for dinner tonight, and I just remembered that I forgot to buy a wedding gift at the mall (that I just came from)?!?

It has been one of those weeks. If you asked my family to vote for the "Mom of the Year" award I would not receive one stinkin' vote. The long Thanksgiving break last week was wonderful. I think I am sulking because I want to go back. I told Jody earlier that I am not meant for "school", I am meant for "breaks". I have got to pull it together, I have 18 more years of this stuff!! Things go much smoother around our house if I get up before the kids, spend some time with Jesus, and then get everyone else up and going. We can normally pull off a pretty nice, non-rushed, easy morning....they may even get breakfast. Nope, not this week. I can't drag myself out of bed and I can't sleep at night (I stayed up Wed. night watching this crazy show about a 7' 8" Japanese women and eating doughnuts...me eating the doughnuts, not her). This morning for breakfast they ate pop tarts and goldfish in the car on the way to school, I wouldn't vote for me either.

Tired of my pity party yet, me too! Well, tomorrow is a new day. I'll pull it together. What choice do I have.....

Enchanted

If you have ever read Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages of Children" you will understand Sydney's language....time. She is very simple to please and doesn't require much. Most of the time she would rather be at home, writing, coloring, or playing with her Polly Pocket Cruise Ship. She loves playing with Carson and Hudson and mothering Harper. To put it simply, she just wants to be with us. If you will just "be" with her she is happy! A few weeks ago her and Jody decided to read "Enchanted" in preparation to see the movie when it came to the theatre. Well the time is here. They have layed in her bed many nights and read their way through this love story. Tonight they will see the movie and I am sure enjoy a big bag of buttery popcorn and large Cherry Coke.

I am so thankful for this precious girl and a daddy who is willing (and wants) to read to his daughter and take her on a date to the movies. I'm just a little jealous that I can't tag along?!

Who is That Girl?

As I was pulling into my driveway this weekend I saw Jody and a pretty young girl standing out by his truck. She had long brown hair and a cute little figure. She stood almost as tall as Jody, dressed in a pair of "hip" jeans and adorable pair of boots. Who is this girl?? As I got closer my heart sank, it was Carson. You know how sometimes as a mom we see our kids all the time, but we don't really "see them"?!? This was one of those moments. The reality that my sweet baby is growing up fell on me hard. I am entering a new stage of motherhood. Gone are the days that she wants me to rock her and watch Barney while she drinks chocolate milk from a sippie cup. She can now make herself anything she wants to eat or drink. I can no longer give her a bath. She takes her own showers, washes her hair, and shaves under her arms. I don't pick out her clothes any more. She has her own opinion of what she likes and what makes her feel beautiful. She also washes them herself and can put them all away. We now spend our time talking about her friends, school, and how her body is changing instead of vegged out in the floor playing "Candyland" with her small fingers rubbing my ear.

I remember when she was born feeling very intimidated and fearful. Can I do this? I have never been a mom before. Can I give her everything she needs? Why is she crying? Is she sick? Should I call the doctor? Why won't she sleep? And then gradually, day by day, I figured it out. I don't question myself any more about caring for the basic needs of a baby. But now I find myself questioning myself all over again. Fear creeps in often and I feel unequipped to mother a pre-teen. I don't even know that I want to. I want my baby girl back?!? But even as I type that I am reminded that she is not mine, none of them are. They are His. This is His plan, not mine. I am just His vessel! So I will trudge on!! I will continue buying her new bras and we will keep talking about "that boy," her first crush (yes she has one....I have been sworn to secrecy)! Everyday I will ask for His help and an extra dose of grace and mercy to cover me when I mess up! Boy, am I going to need it!!

A Little of This...A Little of That

Not to much to report on around this place the last week or so. No one else throwing up (me or Hudson) or peeing in the bed (just Hudson)!? We have had a wonderful break! Thanksgiving was very nice. We had lunch with Jody's family and then visited at mom's for a little while in the afternoon. We capped the day off with popcorn and a movie....lots of fun! On Friday we said good-bye to the scarecrows on the front porch and replaced them with small Christmas trees with white lights. The kids and I decorated the tree and I am now in Christmas shopping mode.

Jody and I are working very hard to keep our schedule as free as possible over the next month or so. "To much of a good thing is NOT a good thing" around our house. We like our "down" time!!


I do have one "bloggable" moment that occurred between Syd and I one night while we were just chatting:

Me: Syd, what is the one characteristic you want in the man you marry?

Syd: A Christian

Me: Is there anything else?

Syd: Yeah. You know that right now it would bother me if his legs didn't work right or he was sick or something. But, it won't bother me when I get older. (This may have come from to much "Little People, Big World).


I felt the tears in my eyes, how I pray that her sweet, compassionate heart never changes!!

This is Typical?!

Here is our night last night:

I am in bed at 8:30 p.m. because I feel so nauseated from taking 2 birth control pills in one day (I had to do this because I forgot the day before, well actually two days before). I also took some Phengrin which helped with the vomiting, but KNOCKED ME OUT!

Jody is in charge! Hudson doesn't want to go to bed, he says his head hurts. In his words, "I have a broken bone right here (pointing to his forehead) in my skull." Jody says "No you don't, go to bed" (this will eventually come back to bite him). Jody proceeds to take Sydney to bed. He reads two chapters to her and then they both fall asleep. We don't really know when Carson went to bed (it's tough being the oldest). Jody finally wakes up from Syd's bed and comes to our bed. At some point during the night I hear a terrible coughing, belching sound come from Hudson's room, but I was to drugged to realize what was going on. Hudson never calls for us so I go back to sleep. At 2:00 a.m. Hudson comes down the hall announcing he has peed in is bed. Jody goes with him back to his room and he has indeed peed, but he has also thrown up at some point...I guess that was that coughing, belching sound I heard??? Jody doesn't think Hudson puked, he guesses maybe it was Murray the dog?!?! This made no sense, Murray had been in his kennel since 8:30 p.m. I think he would have noticed when he put Hudson to bed if it had been Murray?!? Jody takes Hudson's sheets, goes out the back door and flings the "thrown up particles" off the back porch into the yard. I guess this his idea of cleaning it up?!? Hudson's now back asleep. It's 4:00 in the morning and I wake up with a child sleeping "underneath" me. I set up in bed, "Who is this?" (the Phinegrin still has not worn off). Jody responds, "It is Syd, she had a bad dream."

The alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. and we are off to another day!!

If you see my man today give him a pat on the back.....He deserves a good nap!! Love Ya Babe!!

Back in the Saddle

I have been without a computer for several days now and I have missed it! I have noticed that I will take the time to play around on this thing, but when it comes to laundry and cleaning the house I am just overwhelmed???

Here is the Halloween picture from that post (it went M.I.A.).

Marriage

I am reading a book now called "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. I am not very far into it yet, but I have found some very profound statements that have stuck with me. I couldn't even get past the subtitle, "What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?" If this is true, than how does He do that? Referring to his own marriage, Gary says, "I found there was a tremendous amount of immaturity within me that my marriage directly confronted. The key was that I had to change my view of marriage. If the purpose of marriage was simply to enjoy an infatuation and make me "happy," then I'd have to get a "new" marriage every two or three years. But, if I really wanted to see God transform me from the inside out, I'd need to concentrate on changing myself rather than on changing my spouse. In fact, you might even say, the more difficult my spouse proved to be, the more opportunity I'd have to grow." Hummm.....

The last year has been difficult for Jody and I. We have fussed and argued more this year than in the last 10 years of our marriage. The circumstances of "life" and the difficulties of moving, building, having a baby, and managing the "busyness" of 4 children have waged a battle. I have found myself frustrated with him and I know that he has felt the same. I have been difficult, grumpy, self-centered, and stubborn. I think that is why the last sentence above from the book hit so close to home. This sounds crazy, but the more difficult things have been for Jody and I the more I love him (after I get passed wanting to choke him......) God has used this last year to strengthen our commitment to Him, each other, and our family. We have continually been forced to show forgiveness, compassion, and undeserving love to each other. Pride has gone out the door and humbleness has stepped in many, many times. Isn't that what it is like with Jesus? Maybe that is what He is trying to teach me about marriage.

(Gary Thomas also has the best book on parenting I have ever read...."Sacred Parenting"....got to read that one.)

Trick or Treat

Here are our "Trick or Treaters". We had a great night. We had chili at mom's and then hit the neighborhood across the street for lots of good candy and treats with Aunt Nae Nae, Nat, and Reese. We decided to skip the Fall Festival this year (YEAH) and spend a little more time going door to door.

I found a good article about how we as Christians should handle this "goolish" holiday. You know what I learned......Satan and his evil spirits are no more active on Halloween than they are any other day of the year. Any day is a good day for Satan to prowl around "seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8). But, "greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world" (1 John 4:4). Christian's in Europe many years ago created "All Saints Eve" as an alternative to the pagan's "Halloween". Halloween (originally known as Samhain) was created to celebrate the last harvest, death, and the upcoming winter. These pagans believed that the during this time the dead would come alive and walk along with the living. Christians wanted an alternative. So, Pope Gregory IV created All Saints Day....check out John McArthur's Grace to You website for more.

Be Still My Heart

What more can I say.......The picture with the lips we see quite often since we have two new teeth....love it!!!!

Crew at The Apple Barn

Another photo from Gatlinburg....after we stuffed ourselves at the Apple Barn. This has replaced our Thanksgiving Feast since we are often not together for this holiday. Notice our three "new additions" to this fine tradition...Aiden, Harper, and William (two of these just born this year and one "born" into our family by marriage)?!?

Thanks for a great time.....we love you all!!!

Ahhh....Gatlinburg

We love this place........beautiful mountains with fall leaves, dips in the hot tub, strolls through downtown Gatlinburg, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, ice skating (not my favorite), go cart races, and LOTS of talking and laughing!!! This has become a tradition that we look forward to every year. Time with my extended family (the Gilmores and Browns) may not be as often as I would like, but it never disappoints. The highlight this year was my grandaddy's prayer on the morning we left. He shared with all of us what he prays each night.....he asks for God to give us wisdom and courage and he asks for His blessing on each of our lives. He said he prays for each of us by name (he joked that it takes him exactly 17 minutes). I was so thankful that my kids could set at his feet and hear those words. What an awesome heritage. I love you grandaddy!!