Marriage

I am reading a book now called "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. I am not very far into it yet, but I have found some very profound statements that have stuck with me. I couldn't even get past the subtitle, "What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?" If this is true, than how does He do that? Referring to his own marriage, Gary says, "I found there was a tremendous amount of immaturity within me that my marriage directly confronted. The key was that I had to change my view of marriage. If the purpose of marriage was simply to enjoy an infatuation and make me "happy," then I'd have to get a "new" marriage every two or three years. But, if I really wanted to see God transform me from the inside out, I'd need to concentrate on changing myself rather than on changing my spouse. In fact, you might even say, the more difficult my spouse proved to be, the more opportunity I'd have to grow." Hummm.....

The last year has been difficult for Jody and I. We have fussed and argued more this year than in the last 10 years of our marriage. The circumstances of "life" and the difficulties of moving, building, having a baby, and managing the "busyness" of 4 children have waged a battle. I have found myself frustrated with him and I know that he has felt the same. I have been difficult, grumpy, self-centered, and stubborn. I think that is why the last sentence above from the book hit so close to home. This sounds crazy, but the more difficult things have been for Jody and I the more I love him (after I get passed wanting to choke him......) God has used this last year to strengthen our commitment to Him, each other, and our family. We have continually been forced to show forgiveness, compassion, and undeserving love to each other. Pride has gone out the door and humbleness has stepped in many, many times. Isn't that what it is like with Jesus? Maybe that is what He is trying to teach me about marriage.

(Gary Thomas also has the best book on parenting I have ever read...."Sacred Parenting"....got to read that one.)