Grandmother

Ok, I can no longer avoid this. I have known for several days that my next post would be about my grandmother, but I could not bring myself to set down and type. There is so much to say, and yet words have been difficult. She passed away last Tuesday (1/22/08) at 7:30 p.m. We are not sure why her body failed, but most presume it was a heart attack. Her last several moments were spent with my grandaddy eating ice cream. As he was leaving, he bent down to kiss her face and tell her he loved her. Their next meeting will be in heaven.

Dorothy Nell Trevathan Harris was a strong, smart, and practical woman. There is so much about her I don't ever want to forget. She was a great cook. I remember great meals at her house over the holidays as I was growing up. And of course, she knew just how she wanted everyone to set, how long it would take us to eat, how long to clean up, and had leftovers boxed up and ready for us to take on our way out the door. But often after these dinners she would let me "cook" in the bubbles in the sink. I have pictures of soap suds running down the cabinets to prove it. I remember shopping trips to buy frilly, lace dresses with little bells sewed to the inside.....matching lace socks and patton shoes to match. Grandmother was the bookeeper/secretary for B & B Brokers in Murray for many years. When I stayed with her and grandaddy during the summer she would take me to work...for the entire day. That's all day with a 7 year old trapped in a small office. She would always have "jobs" for me to do. I would put checks in numerical order, run messages to the guys in the machine shop, or type on her typewriter. We took a few vacations to the beach with them. Grandmother was afraid of the water and could not swim. But one trip she took swimming lessons while we were there. I remember thinking that was pretty neat. When I played tennis her and grandaddy would often take their vacation time to take me and mom to the out-of-town tournaments. Only now can I truly appreciate the sacrifices they made. Perhaps my fondest thoughts of grandmother take me to my years in college. She made a haven in their home for Jody and I. I could not even count the number of meals she fixed for us (lunch and dinner) or the loads of laundry she washed and folded, all while working full time. She paid my sorority dues, hemmed my homecoming skirts, loaned me her car, and encouraged me to set at their dining room table and study for those horrible accounting tests. But more importantly, she loved Jody. She treated him just like a grandson. She loved us, together! I hope she would be proud of us now.

Grandmother was strong. To her, things were right or they were wrong, they were black or white, not alot of room for "grey". The circumstances of life were not going to get her down. Sure things might get tough, but you pick yourself up, work your way through it, and move on!

She loved Jesus! She was dedicated to her church. I remember gospel music playing in her car (and Juicy Fruit bubble gum in the glove box). Her and grandaddy had many friends from their church they would eat dinner with and take trips together. Grandmother kept the 4 year olds in the nursery for several years. She believed in giving and sacrificing her time to care for the needs of others.

I guess I could sum up all of the above with this....she invested herself in me. Everyday I knew she loved me because she showed me. Even after I left Murray, we talked on the phone every single day. Just a phone call, often a few words just to say "hi" and stay connected. When the phone calls stopped, I believe my grieving for her began. Then she began missing birthdays and couldn't remember the kids names. Those family dinners at their home were not the same, she couldn't recall the simplest of recipes and would become very frustrated. Her decline continued and soon nor she or grandaddy could care for her daily needs. Shortly after mom, Linda, and grandaddy made the extremely difficult decision to put her in the nursing home. In alot of ways, she died then. She could no longer recognize my face, all of the things I just recalled from above were gone to her.....but not to me.

I look forward to being with her again one day. I wonder what that will be like? I rest now in the fact that she is no longer just a shell of herself laying in that nursing home bed. She is with the One who loves her so much more than any of us can even imagine.

Can a 10 month old baby choke on a ponytail holder? I am trying to decide if I should take it from her, risk making her mad, and having to stop this post.....or......let her suck on it and watch her with the corner of my left eye. Yeah, I'll let her suck on it!

Anyway, not much to say today! The kids are all out of school for Martin Luther King Day. Syd and I have been laying in bed for the past hour watching "Kids by the Dozen", a reality show about this family in Massachusetts with 12 kids. I asked Syd how many children she wanted to have. She said 4, because she wanted to be just like me. Oh, the innocence of childhood. Wait a minute, Harper is in the trash dumping out bits of crayon that Murray chewed up...now I know a choking hazard when I see one?!? Have I mentioned it makes his poop very colorful!!

Tragedy avoided......I saved her from the crayons.

I am excited about starting my new Bible study. We are beginning, "Lord, Teach Me to Pray" by Kay Arthur. I am new to her studies but have heard great things (thank you Ang). I think I actually should be looking for a study titled, "Lord, Kick My Rear Out of Bed". The Word of God is "living and active", I know that, I crave that, I just get so aggravated when I don't take the time to dig into it with HIM! I am a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, etc. when I am filling myself with Jesus! I know I can't do "this life" on my own, the only thing I know for sure is that I will screw it up!?! I have been hit or miss with my "Jesus time" since Thanksgiving break. I am going to do better. I am saying this to the thousands of people that read this blog (well actually just 2 of you, maybe) so that you will hold me to it, ask me about it, please! If I tell you I haven't done it then you have permission to make me feel very, very, guilty!!

We Survived!

Last night Carson had a slumber party. She invited all of the girls in her class.....7 all together (one of the many advantages of attending a small school). I believe that everyone had a very good time. They played hide and seek, sang karaoke, ate lots of junk food, danced to music, and giggled themselves silly! We only had one "crying because I feel left out" episode, and for a group of eleven and twelve year olds I thought that was pretty good. Carson was so sweet to let her brother and sister join in on alot of the fun.....Harper had her own "slumber" party with Maw Maw and Paw Paw. It has been a delight to see these girls grow up. I can vividly remember each of them in our early kindergarten/elementary years. I'm looking forward to see what the future holds! The night was a definite A+!

Love This

Here is a quote from Charles Spurgeon:

"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it."

That's Right Sister

Tonight I was upstairs with Carson, Hudson, and Harper. Harper was laying on her back fussing because she had fallen over and wanted to set back up. I was helping Carson with homework so I asked Hudson (playing golf on his PS2) to please set her back up. Without even a "huff", he picked her up and was giving his best attempt to accommodate her. Despite his effort, he could not get her in the right position. Carson walks right over to him, takes Harper, and sets her on the floor just like she needed to be. Then she says, "Hudson, when you get older your wife is going to have a lot of things to teach you!"

Uninteresting Information

Maybe you don't know:

1. Anytime I walk out of a room I make sure the lights are all turned off (and the ceiling fans).
2. If I am watching TV at night before I go to sleep I make sure it is set on channel 6 (NBC) before I turn it off.
3. I hate wearing coats.
4. I hate being tickled.
5. I hate running out of hot water.
6. I type sentences out in my mind. If I have a thought in my head, sometimes I will pretend like I am actually typing it out on a keyboard.
7. If I have a thought that is bad, I will pinch myself really hard.
8. I have to sleep on flat pillows because my neck will hurt in the morning if I don't.
9. I can only chew cold things on the right side of my mouth because I have a sensitive tooth on the left side....which brings me to the following:
10. I would rather have 100 PAP smears than go the the dentist.
11. My "dream job" would be to work in labor and delivery!
12. I want our family to go on a foreign mission trip.
13. When I see people pushing their pets in "pet" strollers I want to scream!
14. I despise every minute of being out in the snow.....I love looking at it from my window!
15. I am terrified of tornadoes.
16. Rainy days (without tornado warnings) are my favorite.
17. I want to take a week long vacation with Jody to a very warm, sunny place.
18. I don't like coconut or anything raspberry.
19. I enjoy presidential politics.......I'm becoming a Huckabee fan.
20. If I could live anywhere else it would be Texas, don't know why. I have never even visited there?

Psalm 51

I have read this passage before, but it has stuck with me for a few weeks now. I keep going back to it, over and over again. I am a firm believer that if something "follows you", you better pay attention!

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." (v. 10) As I read the words I think towards the future, I am asking Him to make my heart pure. Help me to see what it is within me that needs to go......my fears, my desires, my plans. To be honest that is a little scary! I also want His steadfast spirit renewed within. I think it is interesting that it says "renew". It doesn't say "create" a steadfast spirit, it says "renew" what is already there. I want it to be fresh and more deeply rooted.

But then a little further it says, "You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it: you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (v. 16-17) Wouldn't it be easier to bring him a dead sheep or sweet smelling oil? But break my spirit and my heart? I want to be happy, and blessed, and have everything that I want...my way and my time! I want to walk through this life without any pain or suffering. But then who would I be? What could I bring to the table then?

I don't know. I'm not sure what to expect. But I do know this, I want to be changed. I want to be more like Him this time next year. Isaiah 64:8 says, "Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

A Few Great Moments

Here are a few of our great moments over the past few weeks:

1. Christmas morning-The kids were all up and ready, Murray even got in on the fun. We had a wonderful time watching them open their gifts!


2. On Dec. 30th we took them to see Wicked at the Fox Theatre in St. Louis. Sydney wrote in her journal that this was her favorite Christmas gift. We missed Harper, she spent the day with Nana.


3. Mom and I took Carson to Chicago to celebrate her 11th birthday! This is us having dinner at the American Girl Place.


4. We brought in 2008 with a sleep over at our house. We treasure the times that all 8 cousins can be together. This might be the beginning of a great New Year's Eve tradition! We also celebrated Carson's birthday (she isn't with our family from Connecticut very often on her birthday). She had two of her favorites, homemade pizza and strawberry cupcakes with strawberry icing!!