Grandmother

Ok, I can no longer avoid this. I have known for several days that my next post would be about my grandmother, but I could not bring myself to set down and type. There is so much to say, and yet words have been difficult. She passed away last Tuesday (1/22/08) at 7:30 p.m. We are not sure why her body failed, but most presume it was a heart attack. Her last several moments were spent with my grandaddy eating ice cream. As he was leaving, he bent down to kiss her face and tell her he loved her. Their next meeting will be in heaven.

Dorothy Nell Trevathan Harris was a strong, smart, and practical woman. There is so much about her I don't ever want to forget. She was a great cook. I remember great meals at her house over the holidays as I was growing up. And of course, she knew just how she wanted everyone to set, how long it would take us to eat, how long to clean up, and had leftovers boxed up and ready for us to take on our way out the door. But often after these dinners she would let me "cook" in the bubbles in the sink. I have pictures of soap suds running down the cabinets to prove it. I remember shopping trips to buy frilly, lace dresses with little bells sewed to the inside.....matching lace socks and patton shoes to match. Grandmother was the bookeeper/secretary for B & B Brokers in Murray for many years. When I stayed with her and grandaddy during the summer she would take me to work...for the entire day. That's all day with a 7 year old trapped in a small office. She would always have "jobs" for me to do. I would put checks in numerical order, run messages to the guys in the machine shop, or type on her typewriter. We took a few vacations to the beach with them. Grandmother was afraid of the water and could not swim. But one trip she took swimming lessons while we were there. I remember thinking that was pretty neat. When I played tennis her and grandaddy would often take their vacation time to take me and mom to the out-of-town tournaments. Only now can I truly appreciate the sacrifices they made. Perhaps my fondest thoughts of grandmother take me to my years in college. She made a haven in their home for Jody and I. I could not even count the number of meals she fixed for us (lunch and dinner) or the loads of laundry she washed and folded, all while working full time. She paid my sorority dues, hemmed my homecoming skirts, loaned me her car, and encouraged me to set at their dining room table and study for those horrible accounting tests. But more importantly, she loved Jody. She treated him just like a grandson. She loved us, together! I hope she would be proud of us now.

Grandmother was strong. To her, things were right or they were wrong, they were black or white, not alot of room for "grey". The circumstances of life were not going to get her down. Sure things might get tough, but you pick yourself up, work your way through it, and move on!

She loved Jesus! She was dedicated to her church. I remember gospel music playing in her car (and Juicy Fruit bubble gum in the glove box). Her and grandaddy had many friends from their church they would eat dinner with and take trips together. Grandmother kept the 4 year olds in the nursery for several years. She believed in giving and sacrificing her time to care for the needs of others.

I guess I could sum up all of the above with this....she invested herself in me. Everyday I knew she loved me because she showed me. Even after I left Murray, we talked on the phone every single day. Just a phone call, often a few words just to say "hi" and stay connected. When the phone calls stopped, I believe my grieving for her began. Then she began missing birthdays and couldn't remember the kids names. Those family dinners at their home were not the same, she couldn't recall the simplest of recipes and would become very frustrated. Her decline continued and soon nor she or grandaddy could care for her daily needs. Shortly after mom, Linda, and grandaddy made the extremely difficult decision to put her in the nursing home. In alot of ways, she died then. She could no longer recognize my face, all of the things I just recalled from above were gone to her.....but not to me.

I look forward to being with her again one day. I wonder what that will be like? I rest now in the fact that she is no longer just a shell of herself laying in that nursing home bed. She is with the One who loves her so much more than any of us can even imagine.