If you could only see my mailbox.....

If my silly cord worked and I could plug in my camera and show you the picture of my mailbox right now you would see that the flag is up, meaning that I need my mail lady to come and take the contents. Any other day this would be no big deal. Maybe some bills or a card. Today it is a VERY BIG DEAL!! The contents in my mailbox consist of an envelope addressed to All God's Children Adoption Agency. There is an adoption application in the packet, a $300 check, and two pictures of my family. I stood at my front door for several minutes before I turned the handle to walk down my sidewalk to the mailbox. Is this for real?? Are we really doing this?? Yes we are!!!

Before I started this post I paused to read the previous one. How could I have ever imagined what was to come in a few short weeks. Adoption is something that Jody and I have talked about over the past few years. You know those conversations you have in the car on your way home from a trip (when the kids are not clowning around of fussing). But over the past several months those conversations have become very real. They have turned from "what if" to "let's pray". I felt the restlessness, the longing, the aching fade away. We prayed that we would be allowed to be a part of something only God could do. That our hearts would change. That we would be conformed to His image. I told a dear friend last night (at the baseball park while we were dodging crazy foul ball and trying to watch our 2 year olds) that only God could allow this much uncertainty and yet total peace.

We decided several months ago that we wanted another child. We have had months of trying to conceive (which is very odd for us) and one miscarriage in the spring. As each month has gone by God confirmed our desire for more children. Just not in the way we first assumed. Doesn't that sound like Him?? But, I believe that if it had not been for these experiences we might not have gotten to the decision to adopt.

So, as of now, I see a trip to Africa in our future (unless He has other plans). We are being very open with our possibilities. We would love a son. Another little boy would be fantastic. But, I don't want to shut any doors. I have spent countless hours reading, blogging, praying, and reading more. Anything I can get my hands on regarding orphans in Africa, particularly Ethiopia and Rwanda.

Did you know that in Ethiopia:

1 in 3 people are HIV positive (with no access/education on American drugs that could save them)

1 in 10 children die before their 1st birthday

1 in 6 die before their 5th birthday

720,000 children have been orphaned due to AIDs

5 million orphans live in a country less than twice the size of Texas

My eyes have been opened to the terrible conditions, the effects of genocide, poverty, child prostitution/sex trade, HIV. As a Christian I can't turn away. I feel like I am just beginning to truly learn that my life is not my own. As we take this step, I feel like we are relinquishing all control and may never get it back?!?